When I had Darshan of Krishna!
August 6, 2022

I was traveling in Gujarat. I always remember that elderly lady and respect her. Fortunately, I had the opportunity to see this lady. 

I was traveling in a small village. I was going from Gandhinagar to Somnath. At that time only they were constructing the Akshardham temple. Constructing or almost completed. The first Akshardham Bhagavan Swami Narayan’s Akshardham. Went and had darshan, then walked, wanted to go to Somnath, one of the jyotirlinga. In between, one village. One elderly lady, invited me, “Baba come and stay in my house.” It was a small hut, she was having one cow and a small patch of land in front of her hut. She’ll grow something for her to eat, some greens, and whatever little bit things are needed for cooking. And this cow milk she will go and sell in the market and with that, she’ll bring some food and offer it to Krishna and she will also eat. She had a small Krishna. She’s a great Krishna devotee, had a small Krishna Deity and she’ll offer to Krishna and eat. This is a simple life. I can say her whole total property value will be less than $1000. Her per day income may be a maximum of $2.00. Two dollars is per day income and the whole wealth, worth of the wealth is $1000. That’s all in her life and but living a very quiet contented life. I stayed with her some maybe week. I forgot the days because all I know is sunrise and sunset, no question of the watch, no question of the calendar. Nothing needs to be used. All I know is sunset and sunrise and sunset. I will know the Amavasya and Poornima from seeing the moon. Wonderful life. It’s a life to be lived without remembering even the years.

For one week I stayed with her. Every night she will bring the food and keep it in front of that Krishna and she will start talking, that is one thing. And I’ll I can neither contain my laughter nor I can laugh because I will hurt her and she’s giving after all food for me. I have to be a little polite, what to do? But she will sit and she will talk as if she’s talking to somebody, she will sit casually and have a small fan. The hand fan, she will fan that Krishna Deity and she will tell alright, please eat. She will tell so many things in Gujarati, I don’t understand so much but I can understand a few words because many Sanskrit words are there in Gujarati. So, because Sanskrit words are there, few words I can catch. She will be going on talking, maybe for half an hour or one hour. Then she will eat that food and lie down, give me also little food and after one week I said, alright Ma I’m leaving, I’m continuing my journey. She started crying, “No, no, no why do you want to go, I will not ask you to work and all, stay here. I’ll give you food and why do you want to go?” All those usual things. I said, no, no I am a sadhu, I have to continue my journey. Sadhus are not supposed to stay more than three days or four days in any one place.

Traditionally, because till the enlightenment, they should not stay because the attachment might start growing and their continuous sadhana may stop. They may not start doing their spiritual practices. So till enlightenment happens they cannot settle down in one place. I said no, no, I’ll continue. I have to go and have a darshan of Somnath and continue my spiritual journey. She ran to that Krishna and she started telling, “Oh, tell him not to go. I’m so happy that he was here. You only should tell him not to go” and she started speaking. Then within a few seconds, the very funny thing. She stopped talking and wiped her tears and said, “Oh you are telling he has to go. He’s a sadhu he has to go, okay, okay, if you are telling the okay then I will not worry, I will not cry.” She consoled herself as if Krishna is talking back. This is too much. All these days, she was talking to Krishna, okay I can put up with that. Anyhow devotee. She has some love for it. Anyhow she is doing, whatever she wants. And after all, she is giving me food, I have to keep quiet. And it’s okay. And Krishna talking back or she acting as if Krishna talking back is too much.

To tell you honestly, I did not have respect for Deity worship or the pooja or all this ritualistic worship before enlightenment. There was a period I had respect at, a very young age. When I was too innocent like till the age of ten. After the age of ten only I started studying this Vedanta. Having the knowledge of Vedanta without the experience of Vedanta is the worst thing that can happen to a human being. No, really I’m telling. Knowledge of Vedanta but without the experience of Vedanta. Because it gives you almost the pseudo feeling you have everything, you know everything, you are the greatest person in the world. And practically you will not have any respect for anybody. Not only to traditions, anybody. You will be such an idiot! You will not know that, that is the problem. If you know you are an idiot, at least you can save your face. You will not know but everybody will know. That is the worst thing that can happen to human beings.

Anyhow, I was in that mood. I had the knowledge but not the experience. Experience has not happened. But the knowledge was there. So naturally, the Vedantic knowledge without the experience adds so much arrogance and intellect to you. I can say your whole inner space kind of gets corrupted. If you’re feeling hurt, sorry but I’m telling you the exact Truth. I have seen hundreds of monasteries where people sit and study this Vedanta for twenty years. I really feel sorry for them. If they can spend the time in sadhana it will be so much more fruitful. Actually, half an hour of studying and ten hours of digesting which means doing contemplation or sadhana will be the perfect, balancing. That will be the ideal thing. But in some monasteries, studying is very juicy. Understand, you know more and more words. You can play with more and more words and you can show to others and it brings respect, that’s another problem. Why do people respect you don’t know, actually they’re afraid of listening to you. They say, No alright, whatever you say is right please just sit, close your eyes, don’t open your mouth, we will do pooja to you. We will do whatever you say, we will respect you, and worship you, but just do not open your mouth. But this guy thinks he has respect because of his knowledge. What to do?

Having the knowledge without having the experience is the worst state. You will not respect anybody, you will not respect anything, you will be so dry within you and without the inside and outside. I have seen in my experience how to find out whether somebody is a strong Vedanti you know, he will have stomach problem. Really. See, logic is like having teeth in the stomach. You will literally eat yourself. Having teeth inside the stomach, constantly you will be chewing yourself, and you will carry constant irritation. Compassion or love is like lubricating you. Intellect, just intellect is like continuously turning your nerves and creating more and more stress. You will have a stomach problem. Giving your love, even a hug, or just looking at something with a love, is like sending high force lubrication into your nervous system, it just heals. Even for a few seconds, look at anyone of those deities. We have so many Deity. You may feel connected or you may have a love for anyone Deity. Based on your family bringing up or based on the maybe some books you read, or some your prayers got fulfilled, you might have prayed to Shiva and it got fulfilled or you might have prayed to Krishna, it got fulfilled or you may have prayed to the Ganapati and got fulfilled or you might have, from the very young age, you might have heard about Vishnu more and you may be feeling connected. Anyone Deity, just sit there for 2-3 minutes, look at that Deity with very deep love, and you will see your whole system will be lubricated. It’s like Amruta, the nectar is spreading through your whole system. Sit and read some dry books, strong intellectual books, it’s as if your nerves are being turned or churned, or the stress getting created inside your nerves.

I was a kind of a such a sharp intellect, logic, never had respect. Till the age of, from the age of ten till enlightenment, I did not have respect for all these things where my heart needs to be used. Because all my energy and time were spent on intellect. The knowledge. Did not give so much respect to the necessity of developing the heart. Anyhow, when I heard that she talking back, about me going, Krishna says, No, no, no it’s okay, don’t bother. She’s telling, “Oh it’s okay, oh you’re telling he should go, I should be consoling myself, alright, alright.” That was a little too much. I went near her and said, with my broken Hindi and Sanskrit. That time used to use more words because there is no gap now, I’ve forgotten many of the Hindi words. Stopped using. I told, “Mata, Mataji, you are praying to Krishna that is okay, but what you are talking as if He is talking back to you? It’s all illusion you should come out of it.” Now, actually, that is the way because see traditionally sadhus are respected more even though we are addressed as Baba. Baba means father. So all grihis are like one step lower. Householders are like a one-step lower. They are not respected in the Vedantic tradition much. So, I had that same, I’m a sadhu, so I told, “Ehhh, these are all illusions, you should come out of it. You should eat healthy food and stay healthy to come out of all these.” And, she was so innocent, she said, “No, No, Baba, I’m not lying, don’t you see He’s sitting?” And she just held my hand.

I promise I saw Krishna there. He was sitting there. Just a simple child. I tell you. With what intensity you see me now, I promise at least deeper intensity than that I have seen Krishna there. He was there! Just small baby as He was described in Bhagavatha, with a small flute in the hand and putting His hand, head like this in the, on the face, very innocently with a peacock feather all the uncleaned hair and very dirty mouth, all that food was there on the mouth and un-wiped and just that small little baby, He was there!

The shock was from the very root center. Understand, the shock was from the very Muladhara chakra, from the root my Being was shaken. It is you can understand, I was seeing, even if I had the small doubt she is a saintly lady I wouldn’t have went and told her you should come out of all this illusion and you should stop doing all this foolishness, you should be very healthy. I would, I would have never told that. Such a simple, unassuming, with no external expressions of any Saint or Divine Being in her. A simple lady, village lady, maybe 70 or 80. Just by touch, she can give initiation. Understand, this is initiation, this is not just she was able to transmit that experience into my system. It is not that when she held her hand I was convinced (Shiva) Krishna was there, No! I saw! Clearly, He was there. The shaking or shock was so much just fell at her feet, I can remember very clearly after falling at the feet of the Kuppamal, my first inspiration and great teacher, her name is Vibhootananda Devi, the spiritual name, (Swami) Mata Vibhootananda Puri Devi. After falling at her feet, with that same reverence and respect, the second person who I fell at the feet means only this lady. This lady only received my respect and reverence equivalent to the Kuppamal. I just fell at her feet and said, “Never ever call me Baba, you are my Mata.” Because as long as she was holding my hand, Krishna was there, I saw! The moment she took her hand out, it disappeared, I was again the same old intellectual.

It was a very deep strong experience. The same respect which I had for my own teacher, started having. After that, I never ever had doubt or disrespect about this Moorthy pooja or this worshipping the Deity. Even if I go to somebody’s house I will go to the pooja room first and do the namaskar. Sometimes my own photo also will be there, even then I will not bother. The first thing I will do is show the camphor and do namaskar. You do not know in whose house who is staying, in whose house who is residing, you do not know, never take deities for granted. We take deities for granted because it is available for sale. Never ever take deities for granted.

When I fell at her feet she was not able to understand. She said, “Baba, Baba, Baba what are you doing?” Actually, she stopped me from falling at her feet and she was so respectful. Afterward, I had a small little chat with her before leaving. She was so innocent, she was thinking even if she is living with Krishna, then such a small person like her can have darshan of the Divine and living with Krishna, she was thinking that all sadhus would have had vision and darshan and they are living Divine life. I said that shows your innocence. I know how many people are meditating for years to have that glimpse of the Lord. And here is a lady she’s living, living with Him from morning till night. I have seen, that she will lock that small hut and go for that selling the milk. There is nothing inside the hut to steal, even if some thief comes, they will drop something out of love and compassion and drop something inside and go back. There is nothing except two, three bricks for the head and two, three gunny bags for lying down. But she will lock that room carefully and go. And I will ask her, “Why are you locking?” “No, No, No, if some dog comes and hurts Krishna, what to do? If Krishna slowly goes out and gets hurt on the road, what to do?” Such a deep feeling connected. I can see in her eyes, how she sees the Krishna, how she looks at the Krishna, how the very vision is so beautiful, so clean. I never miss a chance to tell this story. Unfortunately, although I tried my best, I was never able to get her photograph.

After enlightenment, after the organization was created, I personally specially sent people and tried to trace her. We were able to locate that place but she passed away, she was no more and we were never able to get her photograph. I wanted to get her photograph and put it in all our temples as the ideal of Moorthy pooja. A person who lived with God, through the Deity worship. I wanted all our Temples to have her photograph so that people will remember how an innocent village lady lived such a Divine life living with God. But unfortunately, we were not able to get photos because in India villages photography and all is unknown, it’s not, never even heard, at least 10 years ago and all. Anyhow, at least we can remember her and offer our respects.

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